Manipulation is a fundamental strategy of abuse

Updated: Dec 19, 2022

Manipulation is a fundamental strategy used to exert power over another person. The behaviours used to manipulate can be hard to spot. When we are manipulated, we have an urge to conform to calm the other person which in turn we hope calms our self. Manipulators may use words, withdrawal of contact or over bearing contact to get their needs met. Anyone can act in these ways but when called out for the behaviour that’s making us uncomfortable, a manipulator won’t change what they do but a healthy person will apologies and not repeat the same behaviours another day.

Manipulators may sulk, withdraw, shout and cry to encourage another person to behave in a certain way. People in a healthy relationship can ask for what they need and can take no for an answer without consequence to the other person.

Manipulators may test the waters and slowly escalate the behaviour as are very aware of their own needs and desire the person they want something from to provide it without hassle.

People in a healthy relationship seek collaboration with others. Manipulators seek control of others.